Re: Weekly Jokes
Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 5:25 pm
These are hilarious! You deserve cookies!
Joke #6
Q: Why did the condom cross the road?
A: Because it was pissed off
Minecraft Junkie
feeding your minecraft addiction since 1812
https://minecraftjunkie.com/forum/
Weekly Jokes
Page 3 of 5
Re: Weekly Jokes
Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 4:24 pm
Re: Weekly Jokes
Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 4:29 pm
Joke #7
True Story...
A Texan convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather than serve a two-year prison sentence. For payment, he provided the court a forged check. He got his prisen term back, plus eight more years.
True Story...
A Texan convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather than serve a two-year prison sentence. For payment, he provided the court a forged check. He got his prisen term back, plus eight more years.
Re: Weekly Jokes
Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 4:35 pm
Joke #8
A blonde and a brunette are sky-diving. The brunette jumps out of the plane and pulls her chute's cord... nothing happens. She then pulls her emergency chute and still nothing happens...
Then suddenly the blonde jumps out of the plane and began to shout, "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"
A blonde and a brunette are sky-diving. The brunette jumps out of the plane and pulls her chute's cord... nothing happens. She then pulls her emergency chute and still nothing happens...
Then suddenly the blonde jumps out of the plane and began to shout, "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"
Re: Weekly Jokes
Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 3:19 am
Joke #9
For Christmas a little girl asked santa to send her a baby sister. Santa then said in one condition... send me your mother.
For Christmas a little girl asked santa to send her a baby sister. Santa then said in one condition... send me your mother.
Re: Weekly Jokes
Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 3:21 am
Joke #10
Timmy's father called up to him from the living room and shouted, "Timmy, if you don't stop playing that trumpet I think im going to go crazy!"
Very baffled, little Timmy replied, "Dad, I think you are already crazy. I stopped playing an hour ago."
Timmy's father called up to him from the living room and shouted, "Timmy, if you don't stop playing that trumpet I think im going to go crazy!"
Very baffled, little Timmy replied, "Dad, I think you are already crazy. I stopped playing an hour ago."
Re: Weekly Jokes
Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 3:28 am
Joke #11
A blonde came home from school one day and said to her mother, "I can count higher than any other kids in my second grade class... do you think it is because im blonde?"
Her mother replied, "Of course it is dear."
The next day, the blonde said, "I can say the alphabet higher than anyone in my class... do you think it is because im blonde?"
Her mother replied of course it is dear!"
The very next day the blonde came home from gymnastics and asked her mother, "I have a larger chest than all the kids in my class.. do you think it is because im blonde?"
After a long pause her mother replied, "No dear, I think it is because you are 18 years old."
A blonde came home from school one day and said to her mother, "I can count higher than any other kids in my second grade class... do you think it is because im blonde?"
Her mother replied, "Of course it is dear."
The next day, the blonde said, "I can say the alphabet higher than anyone in my class... do you think it is because im blonde?"
Her mother replied of course it is dear!"
The very next day the blonde came home from gymnastics and asked her mother, "I have a larger chest than all the kids in my class.. do you think it is because im blonde?"
After a long pause her mother replied, "No dear, I think it is because you are 18 years old."
Re: Weekly Jokes
Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 3:36 am
Joke #12
A man and a woman who have never met before found themsleves in the same sleeping carriage on a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leant over and said, "Im sorry to bother you, but im awfully cold and i was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket. The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says without any hesitation, "I've got a better idea... let's pretend we're married."
"Why not," giggles the woman.
The man then replied, "Good. GET YOUR OWN DAMN BLANKET!"
A man and a woman who have never met before found themsleves in the same sleeping carriage on a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leant over and said, "Im sorry to bother you, but im awfully cold and i was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket. The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says without any hesitation, "I've got a better idea... let's pretend we're married."
"Why not," giggles the woman.
The man then replied, "Good. GET YOUR OWN DAMN BLANKET!"
Re: Weekly Jokes
Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 3:50 am
Joke #13
A business man enters a bar on the top of a skyscraper. He sits down and orders a beer. After taking a drink he sees a mysterious figure go over the railing and jumped straight off the building! Holy shit! Did you just see that!?!? That guy just jumped out the window!"
The bartender did not reply.
So the man continued to drink his beer. A few minutes later the same mysterious man walked back in, orders another drink, chugs it, and jumped once more over the railing and off the building to his seeming trecherous fate.
Jesus! That man just jumped again!"
The bartender continued to ignore the business man.
So the business man sits puzzled. The guy comes once more back into the bar, and orders another drink.
The business man asks,"How did you survive that jump, TWICE!?
...the mysterious man replied,"I ordered a 'floatie' that if you drink in a certain amount of time you can float in mid-air."
Amazed by this the business man quickly orders a floaty. He takes it from the bartender, and chugs it. He then jumps out the window and... SPLAT! Right onto the sidewalk!
The bartender then turns to the mysterious man and says, "You know, Superman.. you can be a real jerk when your drunk."
A business man enters a bar on the top of a skyscraper. He sits down and orders a beer. After taking a drink he sees a mysterious figure go over the railing and jumped straight off the building! Holy shit! Did you just see that!?!? That guy just jumped out the window!"
The bartender did not reply.
So the man continued to drink his beer. A few minutes later the same mysterious man walked back in, orders another drink, chugs it, and jumped once more over the railing and off the building to his seeming trecherous fate.
Jesus! That man just jumped again!"
The bartender continued to ignore the business man.
So the business man sits puzzled. The guy comes once more back into the bar, and orders another drink.
The business man asks,"How did you survive that jump, TWICE!?
...the mysterious man replied,"I ordered a 'floatie' that if you drink in a certain amount of time you can float in mid-air."
Amazed by this the business man quickly orders a floaty. He takes it from the bartender, and chugs it. He then jumps out the window and... SPLAT! Right onto the sidewalk!
The bartender then turns to the mysterious man and says, "You know, Superman.. you can be a real jerk when your drunk."
Re: Weekly Jokes
Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 3:58 am
Joke #14
A man walks into a bar and asks for six shots of vodka. The bartender asks the man, "Six shots? What's wrong?
The man replies, "I found out my older brother is gay."
The next night, the same man walks into the same bar and asks for another six shots of vodka. The bartender askes, "What now?"
The man replies, "I found out my younger brother is gay."
The night after that, the man walks into the bar once more and this time asks for the rest of the bartender's supply of vodka.
"Crap man, does ANYBODY in your family like women? asks the bartender.
The man finally replies, "Yeah... my wife does..."
A man walks into a bar and asks for six shots of vodka. The bartender asks the man, "Six shots? What's wrong?
The man replies, "I found out my older brother is gay."
The next night, the same man walks into the same bar and asks for another six shots of vodka. The bartender askes, "What now?"
The man replies, "I found out my younger brother is gay."
The night after that, the man walks into the bar once more and this time asks for the rest of the bartender's supply of vodka.
"Crap man, does ANYBODY in your family like women? asks the bartender.
The man finally replies, "Yeah... my wife does..."